Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Gift of Falling Apart

[Drafter's Note: I hope this blog doesn't come off like I'm having crazy revelations all the time. It's just that in an effort not to make this a diary of what I did today, I tend to only come here to write when I have something substantial to say. Hence the gaps.]

A friend sent me a simple text message last night: "Chandra, I am about to fall apart."
And I know what he's talking about, and we've already mowed through all the cliches and go-to phrases of comfort and healing. I studied the words for several minutes, wondering what new words might work, and as I was wondering, this beautiful idea came to me.

We get to fall apart. I'm not sure how this idea will translate from my head to the page, but the more I thought about it last night, the more falling apart seemed a privilege rather than a problem. How exhausting would it be to have to keep it together all the time, to not have an outlet--a messy, who-cares-if-the-mascara-runs means of letting whatever is IN, out.

I hope this isn't just a woman thing, though I think it's certainly embraced more by women than men. There's a certain community when women cry at movies (or Kodak commercials), an understanding when we sometimes need a few minutes to bawl like a baby. And I don't really know if men are allowed this grace, but I hope they are, even in certain small spaces of close friendship or marriage. Because being able to fall apart is necessary. I really believe that.

"It's part of what we do," I wrote back to him. "It's allowed. A part of being human. We get to fall apart, and we get to be put back together." The best part of an argument is making up. The best part of falling apart is getting put back together. At times, this can be a human response--a hug or an encouraging talk--but, I'm sorry, nothing beats getting restored by Jesus. I recognize that this may be a strange concept for some, but there's really nothing that comes close. A far cry from cliches and empty promises, this is real healing, real restoration. All the king's horses and all the king's men may not be able to put me together again, but the King of Creation certainly can.

Falling apart isn't a malfunction. It's not an indication that we have screwed up, only an indication that we are human. We are meant to be able to fall apart, because we are meant to know that there in Something bigger than us, ready and waiting to put us back together.


  1. You're awesome, as is your blog. Me, I'm kind of a whiny b right now (see latest blog post, if you dare). But at least one of us has the right perspective right now (hint: you).

  2. I mean, I do what I can, coz!! Now excuse me, I have to go catch up on this awesome blog I know......