Ya know what? Good 'nough. At least something is. Maybe I'll go do a Five-Minute Friday next, just to round myself out...
This Week's Psalm: 83
It's something magical--yes, I'm going to use that word--to be in a certain place emotionally/spiritually, and open up a "random" psalm (Jenny picks them!), only to be greeted with words that were written millennia ago, but speak directly from your own heart, right now.
Especially when, say, BibleGateway is set on KJV.
Keep not thou silence, O God; hold not thy peace and be not still...
Well. Hi, there, Jesus. I didn't see you come in.
I'd just finished journaling, pleading with God to show up in a situation where He seems to be keeping a back seat, waiting for something. I had confessed how in a (sadly) not-too-deep place, I am convinced I could handle this better than He is. I know this is wrong... but there is no hiding one's heart from Him, so might as well be blunt. He's the maker and savior of the world. He can take it.
...For lo, thine enemies make a tumult: and they that hate thee have lifted up the head...
Occasionally there comes a circumstance where only borderline-archaic words dating from the fourteenth century will do.
tumult, from the Old French tumult (12th century), from the Latim tumultus: commotion, bustle, uproar, disorder, disturbance.*
That pretty much sums it up, yes. Tumultuous. It's huge and small at once--a tempest in a teapot. It is massive and thrashing, subversive and unspeakable. And the Enemy is involved, just see if he isn't. Given an eighth of a chance, he lifts up his head like he has a right to look down on anything.
I'm not sure I'll even move any farther in this psalm. From here we get into a list of Israel's enemies, which doesn't really suit me for the moment--I have no beefs with Edom or Midian, and the only Endor I'm attached to contains a civilization of warrior teddy bears. <-- comic relief
In fact, let's just skip to the end--because this, too, is where I ended in my journal moments ago: that though I can't see these attacks coming, and can't pinpoint how to hold defense, the Warrior God is awake and aware, and while He may be waiting, while He may be preparing me by refining me, He does not slumber or sleep.
Let [the Enemy] be put to shame, and perish: That men may know that thou, whose name alone is JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth.
Praise You, praise You, praise You, God, for being so much larger than this. For seeing more than I do, for feeling each injury and slight with a far more personal pain, and for counting each tear. Thank You that there is no debate on who wins at the end. Keep me strong, and clinging only to You, until that day.
Verses cited, in order, and in NIV for less word-nerdy minds:
1: "O God, do not remain silent; do not turn a deaf ear, do not stand aloof, O God."
2: "See how your enemies growl, how your foes rear their heads."
17b-8: "May they perish in disgrace. Let them know that you, whose name is the LORD--that you alone are the Most High over all the earth."
* Thanks, Online Etymology Dictionary! What would an Information Age English major do without you.