Saturday, January 11, 2014

5MF: See

Not sure where the energy--physical or creative--is coming from, but I'm riding it... In part, because I think this is how I'll keep tabs on my word count resolution--a week-end tally, after concluding the week with 5-Minute Friday. (And, I'm sorry, what were you mumbling about a timestamp? It's still Friday in Sacramento...)


"We'll see."

Crushing words to a child, tantamount to NO but somehow harder, crueler in their ambiguity--a distinction too hard to describe from your kid-brain, but no less real. The way sarcasm isn't okay but facetiousness is--you know it's wrong, but you lack the words for how.

I hated those words--for years, long into teenagehood and into my twenties, loathed them.

But I start to catch the other side now--the places where the light catches on the curve and the truth of the turn-of-phrase shows itself. Habakkuk's millenia-aged transciption cracks out from the pages: we wouldn't believe Him if He showed us. But by the time we are the us we'll be, we'll be able to stand it, our eyes will be able to process to our still-kid-brains what they're taking in.

We'll see.

I don't know how some things--most things, all things--work, or will work out. If my dreams will turn to life or ashes. If this man I keep waiting for is only in my head. Why children die from diseases their parents helplessly fell to. How there is no end or depth of cruelty we can invent. There are answers I wish I had, and if I search for them in my own hands I only end up frustrated and clawing. But if I glance up, drop my hands--or, better yet, raise them--there is promise and hope and who-knows.

We'll see. One day, somehow, with eyes that aren't yet ours, we'll see.


(Don't know the deal about 5MF? You should it's awesome. Check this week's out here.)

Jan 4-10: 2,226 bloggy words! WOOH! (Cheating? Certainly, but only by a few hours. We're calling it grace and getting out of here...)


  1. Incidentally, one of the reasons I love 5MF is the community, and the way complete strangers can choke me up with 5 minutes of off-the-cuff writing. It's worth a trip over to Phylor's blog for this week:

  2. Just love this--what you said about raising hands instead of dropping them. So perfect. Visiting from FMF!

  3. Ah, we aren't there yet, but day. Just trust and see!

  4. I very much resonate with you on the waiting to see...longing too for that day when we will see. And way to go on your writing goals. Keep up the great work! (Stopped by from FMF :) )